Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Great Expectations

Do we, women, expects too much from ourselves, men, society...etc?
As I was traveling to Atlanta about two weeks ago, I had time to think as I was waiting for my flight at the airport and flying on the plane.  The thought above popped in my head, "great expectations."  I remember I saw that movie long time ago which based on a novel by Charles Dickens, and it was a tragic love story if I can recall correctly.  I have heard from some people that I am a perfectionist and I have unrealistic expectations about men.

I have settled in the past with my life, and I got burnt quite a few times.  With life experiences, I am learning to be more choosy and careful when I make any decisions in my life.  If I do not have great expectations then I would just settle for anything.  I like to challenge myself, for I do not believe in staying stagnant.  Life is a playground and a classroom, trying new things will help me evolve as a person in this society.  I do not think that I have unrealistic expectations, for as long as I do my best in all I do, I will be the best in all areas of life, and that is including finding a good man who is on the same page as me.  Thank you!

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Finding my zen - St. Thomas

My whole life I have always been curious about everything.  Currently being in my early 30s, I thought I would be married with kids, and live in a house with white picket fences...happily ever after.  Well, life has its way of throwing you a curve ball.  I am divorced, no kids, and trying to find my life's purpose.  I have been in corporate America for about 10 years since I graduated from college.  I moved to Miami by myself about 6.5 years ago, and I did not know anyone after my divorce.  I am not 100% satisfy, for I feel there's more to life.  I have been doing a lot of soul searching for two years now since my last relationship ended.  I do have what you call a nice job, good pay and benefit, yet I know that something is missing.

I have always been small my whole life and eat whatever I want.  After I turned 30, all of a sudden the extra pounds came out of no where.  I finally joined a gym and spa about three months ago, even though it is a little expensive.  I was exercising and going to the spa almost everyday.  I realized that loving myself means being good to me, so I lost a few pounds and feeling good.  I know I must maintain this gym and spa on a consistent basis which is the hardest part since I do get distracted easily.  I want to lose a few more pounds, and be in a better shape and feel better about myself.

Recently, I had an aha moment.  I went to St. Thomas with a girl friend for about 5 days, and it's the first vacation that we did nothing.  It was an all inclusive resort, and everything we want were there.  I felt so rested when I came home.  I am resting up for three days, and I still have a few more days off until my vacation ends after my next trip.  I decided to just relax at home, and do whatever I feel like doing.  I was surfing the internet today, and I read an article "3 Most Important Questions to Ask Yourself" from this website calls finerminds.com.  I read it and did the exercise, and I realized that I am actually feeling happy.  The 3 questions were about what you want to experience, growth and contribute.  As long as I take baby step towards what makes me happy, such as travel and living a balance life, I shall be fine.  Also, I am good being by myself, for there is so much more to life than to work, get married and have kids, not that is anything wrong with that.  For me, I finally realized that my purpose is to enjoy life to the fullest, and all I can do is try to do my best in all of my endeavors.  I know that I am on the right track, and life is a journey not a destination.  As long as I am continue to experience life, grow, and contribute to the society, I am doing just fine.  Thank you!

Sunday, March 4, 2012

Self Love

I thought I knew what Self Love meant when I was younger in my teen.  I was naive and Ms. Happy go Lucky.  After some trails and tribulations in my life, and now in my 30s and I finally realize what Self Love really mean.

One of the greatest reward of living alone is you have the privilege to learn about yourself.  It is very satisfying to get to know myself everyday.  Self Love is not easy as I thought.  Everyday is a struggle to balance life's many situations.  We have to make a living, pay bills, and in the mean time try to eat healthy, exercise, social, handle life's ups and downs, etc.  I moved to Miami about six years ago after my divorce, and I did not know anyone here.  I had to start from scratch, and it was very tough at first.  Now I can say that I do love living in South Beach, and I am actually happy with myself and enjoy being alone.

It's really amazing that once I get to know who I am, I had an epiphany of knowing exactly what self love is.  I can actually say that I love myself.  I am living a healthy life and I do not let negative people bring me down.  I do not need outside factors to feel love.  Living a balance life is the best thing I know that I can do for myself.  I am very bless and grateful for my life.  Thank you!  Happy Self Love!

Sunday, February 26, 2012

The Ex-Factor

One of my all-time favorite show is Seinfeld, and I really admire the fact that Jerry and Elaine can be friends after they dated.  I tried to put this to the test after my first breakup in high school, and that did not work since he still wanted to get back together with me.  Needless to day, I had to cut that off.  There are two views on this, one side stated that we should be friend with our exes, while the other side disagreed.  I think there should be a middle ground.

I have friends who are still friends with their exes, and they seem to enjoy a mutual friendship.  I do think it takes a strong person to be able to still be friend with their exes and can handle seeing their exes moved on to another relationship.

On the other hand, I have friends who cannot be friends with their exes.  They just think that what is the point of being friend with the exes when there is temptation to get back together.  Furthermore, they cannot handle seeing their exes' new lovers.

Personally, I can be friends with my exes, but it depends on the person.  I am friend with one of my exes because we respect each other boundaries.  However, there are other exes I would not want to be friends with if they are unhealthy for me.  I just choose to take care of me, and not let anyone bring me down.

In conclusion, from my perspective I believe that we can be friend with our certain exes, but just not all of them.  I think just because two people did not work out as couple it does not mean that you cannot still be friends as long as you are clear with your boundary.  Happy friending with the exes!

Monday, February 6, 2012

Texting Etiquette


I have to get something off my chest today.  I love technology, however, this texting thing is getting out of hand.  I saw the above picture and I had to use it, it's very appropriate I thought "I miss your voice.  Call, don't text."  I figure I would propose a few useful texting etiquette.

Texting is use only in the following situations:
1. Quick check-in
2. When it's noisy
3. Howdy do
4. A few words

Texting is NOT appropriate in the following situations:
1. Asking someone out on a date
2. Writing a paragraph
3. Having a conversation
4. If your texts kept getting ignored after a few times

Anyway, I do believe that we are so spoil by technology that a lot of people do not even know how to carry a conversation and talk anymore.  You can say that I'm old school, yet I do have a happy and healthy balance life.  As with anything too much is not good.  Humans are social being, so pick up the phone and call someone if you want to talk to them.